Thursday, June 04, 2009
Dominic Rivron sort of started this: a mini-meme where you find a photo from the past and tell the story of then and into the future. So, here's mine.
This is my first time being a mum. I have no idea what's hit me. I am very tired, and feel very overwhelmed. I also feel a bit frumpy and fat, which is why I'm wearing black. I think I'm hiding behind the colour and I will do for about another year, until I start to lose the pregnancy fat.
I love dressing him in bright colours, but I've already had to buy him bigger gros, as he weighed in at 2.4 kilos or 9 lbs and 3ozs. I have to buy him 3-6 mths clothes and will have to buy bigger for the first four years.
He is huge: as we say here, practically ready to go to school. He took eleven hours to push out, with the aid of pethidine and gas and air. I have ten stitches as well, where I was given an episiotomy (a small snip in the exit wall), so I'm feeling a little tender.
He wakes every two hours and is a guzzly baby. I've not got used to disturbed sleep and I'm making the mistake of changing his nappy as he screams because his babygro is off before feeding him, which helps to make him wide awake and me extra frazzled. I've decided to feed him myself, and will do for the next four months. I will suffer engorgment as the real milk starts to come in and have extreme discomfort in about two days, that no amount of cabbage leaves will take away. In the coming months he will become the most photographed baby in the world. He will also suffer from colic, but I won't know what that is until I discover gripe water, followed by the magic of a soother.
Every step along the way: eating his feet, learning to crawl, stand, sit up and walk will be recorded. I will be so careful with him. I will do all my learning on him and try to apply the lessons on subsequent children, and find out that each child is different, needs different rules and help along the way. Right now, the last thing on my mind is having another, never mind another five.
I am 25 and the baby, whose 16th birthday was yesterday, is just three days old, no more. Poetry hasn't even blotted my horizons yet, and won't do for another two years.